RECOGNITION AND DEDICATION COMPETENCY
Professional helpers use various models to help understand clients, design strategies, and attain goals. I've incorporated the best parts of acceptance and commitment, cognitive behavioral, person-centered, and narrative models to create my own: recognition and dedication competency (RDC).
I describe RDC by using the fork in the road analogy. As you travel down the road of life, you encounter a fork. An arrow points to the left toward WANT. Another points to the right toward BEST. It's unwise to bear left because many things we want are bad for us. It's wise to bear right because doing what is best is always, well, best. An example of someone encountering this fork is a spurned lover who wants to go the bar, drown his bruised affections, and maybe send a few nasty texts to the woman who rejected him. What is best is that he do none of that, though he wants to.
You encounter another fork. An arrow points to the left toward HAPPINESS. Another points to the right toward VALUES. It's unwise to bear left because happiness is vague, difficult to attain, impossible to sustain, and followed by disappointment. It's wise to bear right because a life rich in values is a fulfilling life. To determine your values, complete these recognition steps.
Recognition Step 1 Below are fifty values. When you see one that's "very important" to you, write it down. Whatever you think the word means, that's what it means.
Adventure - Authenticity - Balance - Beauty - Challenge - Communication - Community - Compassion - Connection - Courage - Creativity - Fairness - Family - Freedom - Friendship - Fun - Generosity - Gratitude Health - Hindsight - Home - Honesty - Hope - Humor - Independence - Joy - Justice - Leadership - Learning - Love - Nature - Optimism - Order - Passion - Patience - Power - Privacy - Respect - Responsibility - Risk - Romance - Safety - Security - Sex - Spirituality - Teamwork - Trust - Wealth - Winning - Wisdom
Recognition Step 2 Among the values you have written down, mindfully go through them again, keeping only the ones that are truly "very important" to you.
Recognition Step 3 Among the remaining values, choose the ten "most important" ones. These are your ten most important values.
Repeat recognition steps yearly. Now complete the dedication steps.
Dedication Step 1 With your ten most important values listed vertically in no particular order, read each one aloud and tell yourself aloud why it is one of your most important values.
Dedication Step 2 Next to each value, record a 0 to 10 response to the question, "How much of this value is present in my environment?" 0 is none. 10 is a ton. Your environment is holistically comprised of ten components: homelife, worklife, leisure, romantic partners, friends, acquaintances, physical spaces, possessions, mental health status, and physical health status.
Dedication Step 3 Any score of 5 or below requires action. Let's say Humor is one of your most important values but it got a 3. Determine why, design strategies to raise it, and take action. Watch a funny movie, read a funny book, spend more time with clever friends, attend standup, or learn standup. Any score of 6 or above requires maintenance. Let's say Nature is one of your most important values and it got an 8. Determine why, design strategies to maintain it, and take action. Engage with nature with the same frequency and intensity, or do even more to raise the score.
Repeat dedication steps monthly. Now complete the competency steps.
Competency Step 1 Realize and confirm you are competent. Do this however you see fit. This may include verbalizing, journaling, leaving yourself written reminders, or accepting verbal affirmations.
Competency Step 2 Take action. If you are assertive, you decide outcomes. If you are passive, life decides outcomes. Never reach that stage. Instead, plan, take action, assess, and adjust. Do something.
Repeat competency steps daily.
Competency Step 3 Do these ten things.
Be tough - Do hard things - Be kind to yourself - Have a purpose and mission - Offer others compliments
- Do not apologize if you did nothing wrong - Remember that life is hard for everyone - Behave as if your personal hero is observing you - Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you - Pursue your own success instead of coveting that of others